Life on the Vine—Cultivating Gentleness and Self-Control

Fifth Sunday in Lent

March 28, 2004

 

INTRODUCTION

Center for Disease Control:

·        one million people die each year as direct result of violence

·        graphic violence occurs in over half of all television programming > 18,000 violent acts

·        workplace violence has grown disproportionately in recent years

·        each year, nearly two million men in this country severely batter their wives

Through these statistics, one truth stands out:

we are the most violent society and the one most deeply immersed in portrayals of violence

The question is not which came first—our violence or media portrayal of violence > it’s a moot issue

Real question is “What are we Christians to do in a culture like ours?”

            What difference can we make?

            Best answer is “cultivate the fruit of God’s spirit > the fruit of the true vine, Jesus Christ.”

We have been pruning our branches all during Lent

            We’ve tended to love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness

            There are only two left on vine, according to Paul’s list in the Letter to the Galatians

            Those two are gentleness and what Paul calls “self-control”

 

GENTLENESS

Gentleness, meekness, humility

            That strength of character each one of us needs to stay in relationship

            Keeps us from being full of pride and always seeking power > which threatens relationships

Gentleness was that OT word which designated the poor and lowly

It is one of those qualities that is open for public scrutiny

            If you or I do not produce the fruit of gentleness > everybody knows

 

WHAT KEEPS US FROM BEING GENTLE?

Wanting our own strength and power keep us from being gentle, to put it simply

If we want to get ahead > gotta be aggressive, ambitious, ‘self-made’ >

We’ve got to do it for ourselves > nobody else will do it for us

            And if we’re not already strong and powerful > we want to be

            Even if we want “to make difference in world” > we’re taught power makes it happen

                        What does this do to us when we’re taught only one can make a difference?

                        It’s very subtle, but it’s there!  The world we live in does not foster gentleness

            But even more than being immersed in a world where strength and power prevail

                        We’ve tended to make God in our own image 

We’ve attributed ‘strength’ and ‘power’ to God > our kind of strength and power

                                    beginning with the Children of Israel > we’ve look for a powerful redeemer

                                    a military king > one who would set those authorities straight

                                    but when Jesus rode into Jerusalem to claim his throne > he rode a donkey

                                    how did he do it?  How could he be gentle in face of ‘strong’ expectations?

                                    I’ll ask you to answer that question yourselves!

The main question for us is:  Can we ever hope to be gentle?

Although we’ll never have the gentleness that Jesus had > we can come close

            We can cultivate our gentleness fruit, first of all, through prayer > the way he did

                        Jesus always “went away” to pray > left normal surroundings and escaped

                                    For us to maintain our balance > we must follow his lead > pray

                                                Use your hand as a guide

                                                            Thumb = pray for those closest to you

                                                            Pointer = your adversaries [point finger against you]

                                                            Tall = leaders

                                                            Weak = sick, lonely, hungry, homeless

                                                            Small = yourself

Pray . . . and yield when you can > negotiate your way into consensus

            We cannot assume we are always right

actually, we have been freed from that burden of having to be right

because we have been forgiven > we can admit we were wrong > and get on with it

“Getting on with it” very often means befriending those who themselves have no power

These are the three ways Kenneson suggests for cultivating the fruit of gentleness

            Pray > yield when you can > befriend those who have no power

            Cultivate gentleness

 

AND, FINALLY, THE LAST FRUIT > SELF-CONTROL

Kenneson doesn’t like the word ‘self-control’ because it leaves out new life in Christ

            ‘Self-control’ suggests self-mastery only for one’s self > rather than for Christ

            He writes that the word Paul used is more than simply reigning in our passions

            It is using our passions for the good of others > other-directed not self-directed

While Kenneson admits there really are no good words in our vocabulary

            Nevertheless he suggests ‘continence’ > continence means temperance > moderation

                                    A life without obsession

It’s easy to become obsessed about something

We want to be happy > and we get sucked into thinking about what we want that will make us happy

            We cherish our freedom to pursue our own happiness > and to define what makes us happy

            If work makes us happy then work we do

            We rarely think about the impact our happiness will have on others > our families

            We seldom have conversations that take into account one another’s happiness

            We believe we are controlling ourselves > but it’s always for our own good

Kenneson says, and we know it’s true >

there is fine line between control ourselves for our own interests

and tempering our lives for the good of the whole

What can we do?

Keneson says we cannot actively cultivate this particular fruit > we can only receive it

The best way to receive this gift is to work on cultivating the other fruit

this kind of self-control will naturally follow

Second best way to be temperate or continent or self-controlled is to worship with community of faith

            Here we receive the most important lessons in being other-directed

                        Paying attention to God pulls us out of ourselves

Third best way to be temperate is to recover our moral formation > learn how to be moral people

            Nobody took me up on my offer to begin a class on non-violent communication

            How ‘bout a class on moral development? > we can study Kohlberg’s stages?????

LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF-CONTROL

One more story about someone who understood these fruit > and made the world a better place

            Man who shared a farm with his brother for forty years

            Wonderful relationship > until one day older brother got miffed about something

                        And they began a kind of tit-for-tat one-upping of each other

                        Younger one finally bulldozed a gully between them > rains filled it with water

            So they co-existed until one day a carpenter came to older brother’s house seeking work

                        Said, “You bet I do.  See all that lumber?  Build fence 8 feet tall right over there.”

                        Pointed to the stream of water that separated the two properties.

            They worked together moving the wood to the stream’s edge > older brother left

            When he returned at the end of the day > was furious to see not a fence but a bridge

            But before he could put up too much of a fuss he saw his brother walking across bridge

                        Arms extended > big smile on his face.  “I’m so glad you’ve done this . . .

                        . . . after all the mean things I’ve done.”

            Carpenter packed up his things to leave, but they asked him to stay

                        “No,” he said.  “I’ve many more bridges to build.”

Even if you don’t remember the story > remember this:

 

God won't ask what kind of car we drove, but how many people we helped get where they

needed to go.

God won't ask the square footage of our houses, but how many people we welcomed into your home.

God won't ask about the clothes we had in our closets, but how many we helped to clothe

God won't ask how many friends we had, but how many people to whom we were a friend

God won't ask in what neighborhood we lived, but how we treated our neighbors

God won't ask about the color of our skin, but the content of our character

My prayer for each of us during this series has been an increased awareness of our impact

            I pray that each one of us can work with God to prune our branches just enough

            So the Fruit of the Spirit can grow in us > and make the world a better place